ROCK PAPER WATCH


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Skimm Now, Thank Us Later.

  1. Have you ever felt lost in a conversation? 
  2. Are you frequently the last person to hear about just about everything? 
  3. Do you ever get excluded for wearing sweatpants on Monday?

cantsitwithus

If you answered yes to questions 1 and/or 2, like I did, then pay attention, because I have a solution for us. If you answered yes to 3, I can’t really help you.  Get new pants.

TheskimmLogoI introduce you to theSkimm.  TheSkimm is a daily news email that arrives in your inbox before 7AM, Monday-Friday.  It gives you a breakdown of the news with fresh and witty editorial content.

theskimmfounders

Skimm Founders: Carly Zakin (left) & Danielle Weisberg (right)

They Skimm the news, you read it!

TheSkimm was started by Carly Zakin and Danielle Weisberg, who realized their friends and fellow millennials were too busy to stay in touch with what’s what in the world.  In July 2012, theSkimm was introduced and with it, a quick, sharp voice was born, one that speaks across party lines, gender lines, and subject lines to educate the digital masses.  I discovered it in that same summer and it’s become a crucial part of my work day routine.  I Skimm each morning on the train while commuting in to Philly.  My favorite part about theSkimm is watching it transform every single day.  I can honestly say, theSkimm just keeps getting better and better.

In today’s technology-driven world, we are flushed with constant streams of information on social media, on the interweb, and on television.  The endless debacle for humans has become deciphering between the essential and nonessential.  Now I can’t help you figure out which update on Facebook is really worth reading, or what pants you need to wear to keep your friends, but I can help you stay updated with current events.  The answer is TheSkimm.  It is the key to starting smart conversations and staying informed about the topics that really matter.  Yes, we all know that George Clooney’s wedding was a groundbreaking moment in history.  But it is equally, if not more important for us to know and understand what is happening with ISIS, with our government, and with the Ebola outbreak.  TheSkimm provides us with the essentials while simultaneously incorporating fun and fresh knowledge.

One of my favorite aspects about theSkimm, besides it’s ability to make me snicker every morning, is it’s dedication to covering both sides of the fence.  They try to speak to both sides – ya know, the Left AND the Right – while still offering the bigger picture for those stuck in the middle.   Today, for example, theSkimm recapped the history of the civil war in Syria by attacking the story from three angles: “What the ‘Told You So’ Side Said,” “What the ‘We Did What Made Sense’ Side Said,” and “What theSKIMM Says.”  They aren’t interested in who is right or wrong; they simply want us to know what the heck is going on.

I also love their endless efforts to add some fun to the morning.  Some of their new segments include:

  • Things to Know (like #X is the universal sign for ‘driving now, I’ll text later’);
  • Fantasy Football Thursday Tips (Ladies and gents, you do want to have Marshawn Lynch starting in your line up);
  • Skimm Reads (This week, you should be reading “Brain on Fire” by Susannah Ca);
  • Skimm the Vote (Yes, it’s almost time for Midterms); and
  • Guest Skimm’ers like Karlie Kloss (Fashion Week), Paul Pierce (NBA), and Zac Posen (CFDA Awards).

So stop what you are doing and Sign up now for theSkimm.  You can thank me later.  Happy Skimm’ing!

skimmonthego

 


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‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Trailer React

It’s official, the wait is over. Yesterday morning, the Today show premiered the trailer for the erotic romance Fifty Shades of Grey. Slated for release on Valentine’s Day 2015, the trailer offers the first look at the delicious Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey and so so much more. Let’s not waste another minute,  Elizabeth Bond and Ashley Foster allow their inner goddesses to react to the long awaited glimpse into the Red Room of Pain.

 

Elizabeth:  So is it sad that I’m already assuming that for Valentine’s Day I’m driving down to Charlotte and we are going to see Fifty?

Ashley:  YESSS!! I was going to ask you the other day what we should do for Valentines day but I was like, “maybe it’s too early?”

E: Okay let’s talk about this trailer. The first meeting…

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer I Am

Anastasia describes him as “He was polite, intense, smart, really intimidating.”
Grey asks, “I’d like to know more about you.” Anastasia replies, “There’s really not much to know about me, I mean look at me…” “I am,” he replies, and with that we get our first look at Jamie Dornan’s Christian Grey.

E: Can we just talk about how perfect he is?

A: I…I…I just wanna bite that bottom lip.

E: YESSSSS! Gah, where can I get me one of those?!

A: But seriously though. American accents aren’t sexy…somehow he manages to make his sexy?

E: One of the things that I always found attractive about Jamie Dornan after watching him in The Fall and Once Upon a Time was that British accent but his certainty when he looks at Dakota Johnson’s Anastasia makes me weak in the knees.

E: Let’s talk about Anastasia for a second. She’s much “frumpier” than I thought she would be in her mismatched outfit and shyness, but it works.

A: Yeah, I almost expected a little more “Joey Potter-esque” fashion. A little more girl next door…with a side of frump.

E: Definitely! Speaking of fashion, how about that grey suit and THE TIE!?

A: Yes! Loved the incorporation of the grey tie…but one thing missing from the scene was Anastasia tripping through the door….what’s up with that?

E: Is that gone? Or do we have to wait for the movie to see Grey catch her and the physical repercussions of their first touch?

A: I certainly hope not. I feel like some of the key scenes are definitely being saved for us to enjoy during the movie. I mean, they can’t give it all away in the preview. (Even though I wish they would)

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Elevator Anastasia Steele

E: The scene where she gets on the elevator, in the book, is plagued with sexual tension and I definitely felt it here. As I watched, I was like “oh man, he’s got her.”

A: I certainly enjoyed this. It’s just like you knew the OTHER elevator scene was just around the corner. I think my favorite part about this was the gleam in her eye. It was like, “OH…SHIT….”

E: Exactly! The only thing missing here for me was “Anastasia,” he says as a farewell. “Christian.” I reply. GOD THE FIRST TIME THEY SAY THEIR FIRST NAMES SPEAKS VOLUMES.

A: OH MAN. It really does, it’s almost like their names were code for, “Yep, this is about to get REAL in about two chapters.”

E: LIKE FOREPLAY.

A: I’ve got to say, I was a little skeptical about Dakota Johnson playing the role, but by this point she had convinced she could definitely fill the shoes of Anastasia.

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Christian Grey

E: Gah, he’s gorgeous. That brooding stare.

A: Aw! Jose! He’s like the Jacob of Fifty Shades! Honestly…I wasn’t paying attention to him. Talk about a man that can wear fitted suit! Ow owwww!

E: mmmhmmm!

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Taylor

A: Taylor! I’m so excited they showed his face in the preview. He was probably one of my favorite characters in the books.

E:  He’s like Anastasia’s confidant and sidekick almost. And I love this actor (Max Martini). He’s so good in these types of silent but strong background roles.

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Coffee Shop

Anastasia asks “To what to you owe your success?” and Christian replies, “I exercise control in all things Miss Steele.” “That must be really boring,” says Anastasia while Christian smirks.

E: At this point she’s still totally unaware of how much control he “exercises.” Girl, it’s hardly boring. Mwahahahaha.

A: Yadda, Yadda…Coffee…Tea…Okay enough of this. ONWARD! THE ELEVATOR SCENE!

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Hot Elevator Kiss

E: This is about the time that my brain just stopped working and I started thinking with other parts of my body…

A: Beside the fact my brain shut down as well…I loved that even early on he was like, “No, no, you can’t touch me. Don’t mind if I do…just going to pin you to this elevator wall.”

E: RIGHT! Like the second she reaches for the back of his neck, out of reflex, he swoops in and takes control. Their chemistry is incredible here.

A: Yep. My innards hurt.

E: And Beyonce didn’t help.

A: Can we just talk about the choice for Beyonce to be on the soundtrack? #NAILEDIT Her latest album is just SEX.

E: Evidently, this is quite the scandal. Several publications have expressed their disdain for Beyonce’s involvement but her brand just fits here. And the new recording of Crazy in Love is perfect. The crescendo of the chorus happening as he pins her to the wall of the elevator, my god.

A: Disdain? Girl is laughing all the way to the bank….Plus I’d just like to think Beyonce is putting her foot down and just relating to women everywhere like, “Yeah, this stuff turned me on too…”

E: I find it personally satisfying then that I have something in common with Queen Bey.

A: It’s like we are all besties with Queen Bey.

E: Gah, if only.

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Christian Grey

“I’m incapable of leaving you alone,” Christian says. “Then don’t,” replies Anastasia.

E: This is hands down one of my favorite parts of the trailer (as well as the book). You may remember, they are leaving the coffee shop and she almost gets hit by a car only to get pulled back onto the sidewalk by Christian at the last minute. In the book, she is in his arms briefly but her thoughts are pleading for him to kiss her. (“Kiss me damnit!” I implore him, but I can’t move. I’m paralyzed with a strange, unfamiliar need.) I love how in this scene, you see that Christian is struggling with the same damn unfamiliar need.

A: It definitely written ALL over his face. Side note: They never showed the hardware store scene! What a classic tale of duct tape and rope….

E: That’s gotta still be there, right?

A: I think some of the first photos that leaked from the set were scenes from the hardware store. Here’s hoping!

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Dark Brooding Christian Piano

“I had a rough start in life, you should steer clear of me.”

E: Tortured Christian, this is what I knew Jamie Dornan would be able to pull off well. He’s not afraid of complex characters and they don’t get much more complex than Christian Grey.

A: This is one of those things I didn’t catch until I went back and watched it the second time.

E: Well again, I left my brain back there in the elevator.

A: #realtalk

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Pushing Jose

E: This is a pivotal sequence featured in the trailer. First, Christian shows up only after knowing Anastasia a few hours and pushes Jose away as he tries to kiss Anastasia. A very public proclamation of his intentions. Then, the damsel in distress that she is, he takes her to his hotel and tucks her into bed. He lightly kisses her goodnight and leaves. When she wakes up there is a glass of orange juice and two Advil but no Christian. It’s the first time she experiences how tender he can be, but also how cold.

A: I love how instantly protective he is over her. They really do a great job of showcasing that in preview.

E: Exactly, moving on…

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer under the table

Over a series of scandalous shots we hear Christian tell Anastasia “I don’t do romance, my tastes are very singular. You wouldn’t understand.”

E: Now the good stuff!

A: Did you see how she squeezed her legs together and gave him that look! Hot damn!

E: All during a Grey family dinner too, my goodness! I think I started to blush. Side note, there should have been more Marcia Gay Harden in the preview. There should always be more Marcia Gay Harden.

A: I know! I can’t believe they only showed the back of her perfectly tamed coiffe! This scene get’s me really excited (ha-ha) for the benefit party in the second book….now that…is scandalous.

E: Elena hasn’t been cast yet right? I’m still holding out for Sharon Stone.

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Low rise jeans red room of pain
E: I was too distracted by his shirt off and those beautiful lowrise jeans to notice that he’s in the Red Room of Pain.

A: Just found my new desktop background. Man, let’s just talk about how that is EXACTLY what I pictured when reading the book. HOT DAMN. I salute you Levi’s!

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer sweatpants

E: Speaking of low rise…

A: Praises be….

E: Gah, that look he’s giving her, it’s like he’s begging her ‘please love me.’ God, my heart just melted. Leave me alone and give me chocolate.

A: Where are they during this scene by the way?!

E: My guess is his bedroom.

A: I just imagined it to be more white…and airy…but it matches his broodiness. Also, did you notice the sweat?

E: Also also, I love the intimacy that’s hinted at here. She’s in a big t-shirt, he’s in sweats.

A: So very sexy…lets be honest.

Fifty Shades of Grey Red Room of Pain

E: “Enlighten me then.” Ask and you shall receive Miss Steele! Here we go…

A: Dakota nailed the reaction…sort of, “wtf” mixed with “hmmmmmm….?”

E: “Ohh great, this is your hobby…”

Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer Gif Red Room of PainSource

E: OH. MY. GOD.

A: *Gulps*

Laters, baby.

 

 

From your resident experts in all things sexyElizabeth Bond and Ashley Foster, thanks for reading!


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The Leftovers Series Premiere Recap – Am I Awake?

The Leftovers Poster Justin Theroux

So I realize that my opinion is not a popular one, but I really enjoyed HBO’s new series The Leftovers. While somewhat confusing, I thought it was a great pilot. There were several twists and turns, unanswered questions, and a small reveal that easily set the landscape for an interesting new show.

At the start of the hour, a distracted mother is at the laundromat with her crying baby. While on the phone, she straps her screaming child into the car-seat. The camera slowly zooms in on the baby, there’s a quick moment of peace like he sees something in the sky. He screams again and then silence. The mother turns around and her baby is gone, just gone. She gets out, looks around the car, searches the parking lot, then panicked, she starts screaming. A young boy nearby is yelling for his father while an abandoned shopping cart aimlessly rolls into a parked car. A speeding car, now driverless, slams into another car in the intersection down the street. Where did everybody go?

The show then jumps three years to Mapleton, New York where we learn that 2% of the world’s population, 140 million people, vanished on October 14th. The rest of the world is in this frightening purgatory, unsure of what happened or what it all means. On a similar note, I found myself asking throughout the episode, “what if it happens again?” Because of that paranoia, the pilot reminded me of ABC’s short lived (and greatly missed) series FlashForward, only if it was darker and sexier. FlashForward follows a global blackout in which the entire world loses consciousness for 137 seconds. During those seconds, people see what appears to be a vision of their own life approximately six months in the future. The similarities lie in the pandemonium the blackouts cause and the global uncertainty and confusion.  However unlike FlashForward, The Leftovers isn’t trying to explain why those people vanished. It’s more like a character study on grief.

Backing up to this purgatory situation… I found the religious undertones extremely interesting throughout the episode. Several times, characters asked why God did this or why He chose the people He chose. For example, Gary Busey? Really? The Book of Matthew describes a similar event in which “Two men will be in the field; one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding with a hand mill; one will be taken and the other left.” Recent Christian theology believes that this is the Rapture. It’s the first real occasion that the believers on Earth will rise to meet Jesus in the sky. It’s also the beginning of the Second Coming, which is a seven-year period where the “leftovers” are stuck in a type of purgatory. During this time there are wars, plagues, then the emergence of the anti-Christ before 1,000 years of peace under Christ’s renewed rule. If this is the case, things are just getting interesting in the fictional world of The Leftovers.

The viewers are immersed into this world through the eyes of one family. Let’s meet the Garveys.

The Leftovers  Justin Theroux Kevin Garvey

Papa Kevin Garvey, played by Justin Theroux (Jennifer Aniston, you are one lucky woman), is all kinds of messed up. As the police chief, he’s trying to find order in the chaos while dealing with the town’s most complicated citizens. He’s very apprehensive and hostile towards the town cult, Guilty Remnants (or GR). He’s trying his best with his teenage daughter but they both seem so plagued by grief and anger they can barely function. To make matters worse, it seems like Garvey has several hidden issues of his own.

In the beginning of the episode, Garvey is out for a run when he crosses paths with a dog. As he beckons the dog to come closer, the dog is shot by a neighbor who then speeds away. Garvey puts the dead dog in his trunk and gets ready for the day ahead. On his way to work, he stops by the address on the dog’s collar. While walking up the sidewalk he sees a buck stoically standing in the garden. The owner doesn’t want the dog, she says it disappeared with her husband three years ago. Garvey throws the collar in the trunk with the dog’s corpse and gets a call informing him he’s late for the meeting with the mayor to discuss Heroes Day. Later, Garvey is obviously dreaming (I say obviously because he’s driving in the dream and his daughter was last seen with his car) when he hits the buck. When he awakes, it is to a phone call saying that he’s late for the Heroes Day parade. As he’s leaving for the parade he finds that his kitchen is destroyed. Garvey doesn’t mention it to anyone at the parade. (Side note: The kitchen is traditionally perceived as the mother’s area within the home.) At the end of the episode, he once again almost runs over the buck but is able to stop. He gets out and they share a moment. “Were you in my house last night?” he asks the buck. A pack of dogs come running and begin tearing the buck to pieces. The shooter from earlier in the episode arrives, “Am I awake?” Garvey asks him. “You are now, aren’t you?” and they both empty their guns into the pack of wild dogs.

I’ve gone back and forth on this quite a bit. I think the dog was real. I think anything with the buck was a dream. Whenever he saw the buck, there was some type of lapse in time or miscommunication about when he needed to be somewhere. A few of my friends took the episode as all real but I feel like whenever a character has to ask “Am I awake?” he’s probably not. There’s really nothing I love more than an unreliable narrator (see Hannibal or Homeland). It adds an extra layer to the show’s complexity. Furthermore, towards the end of the episode when asked “where were you when it happened?” Garvey has a quick flashback to hot-and-heavy sex with someone who may or may not be his wife. If it isn’t his wife, who at this point we assume is one of the millions that have vanished, is his relentless guilt leading him on a dangerous downward spiral? Is the buck a symbol of his failed marriage?

The Leftovers Chris Zylka Tom Garvey

I’ll be honest, The Leftovers had me at “From the creator of Friday Night Lights” but I never thought I’d see Dillon-alum Buddy Garrity (Brad Leland) as a congressman in the premiere episode. Congressman Witten pays Tom Garvey (Kevin Garney’s son, we learn this after he repeatedly ignores his father’s phone calls) to drive him to an undisclosed location to meet a mysterious holy-man named Wayne. When Tom (Chris Zylka) drops the politician off at a ranch (where FNL creator himself, Peter Berg, is one of the guards) it’s clear that they’re not in Mapleton, New York. The pool at the ranch is surrounded by young, bikini-clad Asian girls. We meet one of them, Christine, who seems to have a small crush on Tom. It’s clear that Wayne’s not a huge fan of their friendship and requests that Tom stay the night so he and Wayne can have a special meeting. Later, Wayne enters Tom’s room carrying a knife. He warns Tom to keep his hands off Christine and then shares his own dream in which he believes something bad is coming. “The grace period is over, Tom,” says Wayne. “Time to go to work.”

The Leftovers Jill Garvey Margaret Qualley

The teenage daughter Jill (Margaret Qualley) is angry. During field hockey practice, she responds to basic rough play with a hard elbow throw, inevitably breaking the girl’s nose. Her coach let’s her off with a warning but not before asking if things are okay at home after what happened to her mother. Later, Jill and her friend Aimee convince Garvey to give them his car so they can go to a party. This is where things get interesting. At the party, they play a sadistic game of Spin the Bottle that includes options like Hug, Burn, Choke, and F—. Teenagers in a normal circumstance have little regard for their own mortality, post-October 14th they have even less. Why should they be concerned about consequences if God has supposedly already made His decisions? Jill gets stuck with Choke. She lays in bed with her partner, choking him as he masturbates while subtle tears fall down her face and Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together” plays over the scene.

Later, Jill is trying to leave the party when she discovers the dead dog in the trunk (leading me to believe that this one part is real). With the help of some guys from earlier in the episode, she buries the dog. We learn that most pets have lost it, they don’t know how to deal with this type of disruption and have gone wild. One of the guys points out that the “same thing is going to happen to us. It’s just taking longer.”

Amy Brenneman The Leftovers Laurie

Throughout the episode we are allowed to assume that the mother vanished on October 14th. It’s revealed towards the end of the episode that the matriarch of the Garvey family is actually Laurie (Amy Brenneman), an active member of GR. This means that she chose to leave her family and let’s face it, that’s so much worse. The GR aim to serve as living reminders of God’s power and that His judgement is upon us. They have taken a vow of silence, smoke a lot of cigarettes, and wear all white. They watch silently from a distance and protest any attempts to move past the events of October 14th. They are openly resented by the rest of the population.

We see Laurie in action as she stalks Meg (Liv Tyler) until Meg eventually retreats to the GR house like it’s a safe haven. I’ve gathered that Meg is a major character in the books, which I intend to read after Bittersweet, but she wasn’t very important for the pilot.

What did you think of The Leftovers? Was it too confusing? Were there not enough answers? Say we don’t find out why those people vanished, would you still watch? In other words, are the chaotic lives of these characters enough to bring you back every week? Let us know because we’ll be watching (but not in a creepy way like the GR).


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New Trailers for ‘Horrible Bosses 2′ ‘The Skeleton Twins’ and ‘The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them’

HAPPY TRAILER WEDNESDAY! Let’s dive in.

Horrible Bosses 2

Horrible Bosses 2

The guys are back. Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis reprise their roles from the 2011 summer hit. Dale, Kurt, and Nick decide to act as their own bosses for a change and start their own business. When an outside investor pulls out of the venture, the guys decide to kidnap the investor’s adult son (Chris Pine) and hold him for ransom in order to regain control of their company. Jennifer Aniston, Jamie Foxx, and Kevin Spacey also reprise their roles. Horrible Bosses 2 hits theaters November 26th.

The Skeleton Twins

The Skeleton Twins

After ten years apart, twins Maggie (Kristen Wiig) and Milo (Bill Hader) coincidently cheat death on the same day, leading them to reunite and deal with how messed up their lives have become. For Maggie, it means re-examining her marriage. For Milo, it means facing a heartbreak he never quite got over. It’s a darker comedy for these actors. Mostly I’m just excited for the lip syncing, dance-off to Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” The Skeleton Twins hits theaters November 26th.

The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them

The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them

I haven’t watched a trailer in a while that has made me go “whoa, this movie” at the end. It looks amazing. First of all, it’s got James McAvoy and Jessica Chastain. Secondly, the story. Not only is there a The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them, but there is also a The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him and a The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her. All the movies tell the story of one couple’s relationship. Him is from his perspective, Her is from her perspective, and Them is a combination of the two as they try to reclaim the life and love they once knew that may be too far gone. Sighhhhh.

The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them hits theaters September 26th.

 


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True Blood Season 7 Premiere React – The Beginning of the End

true-blood-final-season

It’s hard to imagine that True Blood has been a part of our lives for only the past seven years.  It feels like a decade ago that we watched Sookie Stackhouse, a part-human part-fairy waitress from Bon Temps, Louisiana, meet her very first vampire.  Lately, we can hardly even remember the days when Bill was thought of with giddy girl-crushing love and admiration.  It’s difficult to even say his name anymore. (“Do you think Sookie will end up with Bilith?  I mean, Bill…”)

For Jenn O’Mara and Ashley Foster, the final season of True Blood is bittersweet.  They’ve been with the show for it all – through the good, the bad, and the ugly of seven seasons.  They witnessed every True Death, every True Blood drink order, every Sookie Stackhouse sex scene, all of it.  Saying good bye to the weirdos citizens of Bon Temps who manage to survive Season 7 isn’t going to be easy.  So in order to get the most of the season, they’re hashing out every possible theory, question, and mystery that the season has to offer.   Below is their Q&A discussion of their burning questions left after Sunday’s season premiere of True Blood.

 


 

1. Do we miss Tara already?

TaraTB

Ashley: Sorry, no. Pam was the only thing that made her interesting. Good-bye.

Jenn: Nope!  I’ve always preferred Book Tara over TV Tara.  TV Tara’s place on True Blood always felt forced and out of place.  Her death, though mildly rushed and severely disappointing, started off the final season with the feeling that no one is safe, ever, even in the first 30 seconds of an episode!  It really is the beginning of the end…


2. What/who drew away the crazed vamps from Merlotte’s?

sarah-newlin-1024

Ashley:  Sarah Newlin. Crazy I know…but let’s think about this for a second.  She is a freaking can of crazy.  She’s ALWAYS hated vampires and certainly despises the ground Jason Stackhouse walks on.  Add that up and what’s stopping her from tearing him and his town apart?  Think of it this way, she has the motive and if she can control the Hep V vamps, she certainly has the ammo. Who better to destroy a whole species along with her enemies than the one person we would never suspect?  Sarah Newlin is a weed and she keeps coming back stronger in some weird way in every season. I mean, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorn.

Jenn:  I think Ashley is onto something seriously intriguing with Sarah Newlin.  If it is her, I bet Jason Stackhouse will really regret sparing her life.  But what if it’s something even crazier, like a king or queen from another state poised to rock Louisiana for a gigantic takeover?  Or it could be the Fae.  The only thing vampires love more than our half-fairy heroine are full-blown fairies.  The vamps have massacred their fair share of fairies and we’ve yet to see the show take on the book version of the Fae.  This theory has some  potential.  But I still think it’s probably the Fellowship and Sarah.


3. Where the hell is Eric Northman?

eric-northman-naked-true-blood

A: I’d like to think he is waiting on me at home with a bubble bath and some champagne….but that’s just me. But in all seriousness, my imagination isn’t taking me anywhere on this one. I just feel like he’s actually dead, dead. It’s almost as if he’s had his moment in the sun (literally). But, then again, why would they be leading Pam on a rat race?

J:  He’s alive, somewhere.  (I only say this confidently because of season previews.  Without the Internet, I’d still be crying over his death…)  My King..I mean…Eric…probably buried himself in the snow when the fire started and is alive, laying majestically naked, somewhere near a body of water.  Pam will find him soon, remind him he’s acting crazy and needs to be home, and bring him back to Bon Temps just in time to fight Bill for our girl, Sookie.

Side note – Just at the point I started realizing the episode felt empty without Eric, we cut to Pam.  It’s as if the writers can feel it, too.  I bet when they aren’t writing (and thinking) about Alexander and his naked bod every 10 minutes, they start to become sweaty and distracted.  On a serious note – I hope there aren’t many more episodes without Eric Northman.  He’s by far my favorite character (show and book) and this is the last season.  I want all the Eric I can get.


4. Is Jessica going to kill all these fairies?

jessica-true-blood

A: I think Jessica is going to take a note from her maker and protect Adelaide like Bill did with Sookie. Jessica is definitely the one character who has had a ton of growing pains since her characters introduction to the series and it seems like she’s one of the few who has learned from her mistakes. So definitely not, Jessica is a good girl all the way.

J:  As much as I think Jessica shouldn’t in order to show that her character has indeed learned to become a civil and humane vampire (much quicker than any of the older vamps, I might add. Bill was a couple hundo years old for Pete’s sake),  I kind  of want her to for one reason – bad ass factor.  One of the things I love most about True Blood is it’s intense gore, violence, and high number of ‘WTF EWMYGOSH’ moments.  Jessica killing the only fairy that survived her the first time has potential to be freakin’ awesome.


5. Will Sookie really end up with Alcide?

sookie-alcide-true-blood

A: I hope not. I mean, that’s like asking if Bella is going to end up with Jacob. #sorrynotsorry (Spoiler Alert!) I know Sookie ends up with Sam in the books, but honestly I’m Team Bill. It seems like the show is getting back to the basics in the first episode this season. I mean, hello, did you see those season one-esque glances Bill and Sookie were exchanging back and forth? Unfortunately, I don’t think Alcide will ever fully accept Sookie for her past and her faults. Bill has never had that issue….

J:  Only when Lafayette ends up with Holly aka NEVER.  Alcide is on his way out the door and I hope last night was the only episode where they are together.  (Spoiler!) I also hope she doesn’t end up with Sam.   I get how and why the book ended in that way.  It worked for the books and for the story within the books.  But this isn’t that story.  Sookie and everything else about Bon Temps is different so please, please give us the fan-ending we’ve wanted since Season 1 Episode 1 before any of us even read the books.

Sookie + Bill = Forever <3
sookie-bill-true-blood


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Game of Thrones 4×9 Recap – The Watchers on the Wall

Does anyone else feel like this episode came out of nowhere? Maybe if we had checked in with Mance Rayder more frequently the stakes would have felt a bit higher going into the episode. I guess what I’m getting at is that I wasn’t very excited for this episode. It didn’t feel necessary yet and I was still emotionally distraught over last week. But I think that was the whole point. The battle at Castle Black gave us a much needed hour-long break from all the drama at King’s Landing. It was an action-packed episode with beautiful, cinema-worthy visuals. Let’s dive in.

Samwell Tarly and Jon Snow bromance

The episode starts with Jon Snow and Samwell Tarly enjoying a little bro time. Sam asks Jon what it’s like to have someone. He recognizes that they’re all probably going to die when the Wildlings attack and hearing it from Jon Snow may be the closest he ever gets to knowing. Snow is a little surprised that Sam would consider breaking his vows. Sam points out that the vows don’t say anything about the actual deed, just marriage and babies. Oh, Sam and his clever loopholes.

Jon Snow then fumbly delivers the best description of the birds and bees there has ever been, “It’s… there’s this person, this whole other person and you’re wrapped up in them and they’re wrapped up in you and for a little while you’re more than just you .You’re…I don’t know I’m not a bleeding poet.” Could have fooled me.

Meanwhile, the Wildlings are hanging nearby waiting for the signal. Tormund Giantsbane is talking about how he almost had sex with a bear once. I don’t really understand this whole conversation but what’s with all the sex talk?! Ygritte is over it. She’s ready to hunt some crows. This Wildling bros start to tease her about how they don’t think she can kill Jon Snow. In typical Ygritte “BAMF” fashion, she calls dibs. Jon Snow is her’s to kill.

More bro talk, Sam and Maester Aemon bond over their lost loves back at Castle Black. Maester Aemon reminds us that “love is the death of duty.”

Gilly and Sam reunite. She’s retreated from Molestown to Castle Black. Sam tells her, “wherever you go, I go too.” Their reunion is cut short though when the horn at Castle Black begins to sound. Sam hides Gilly away in the kitchen. She’s upset he’s leaving her, I mean he did just promise “wherever you go, I go too.” She’s worried that he’ll die in the battle, but Sam is a man of his word and he has to do his duty as a man of the Night’s Watch. Then HE KISSES HER! This battle is pretty much the best thing to ever happen to Sam.

Jon Snow Mance Rayder Fire Signal

Jon looks over the north side of the Wall and sees a massive fire burning; Lance Rayder’s signal. The Wildlings see it too. It’s time. The Night’s Watch frantically completes their preparation for battle.

Jon Snow approaches Ser Alliser Thorne amidst the chaos. “We should have sealed the tunnels while we had the chance, like you suggested,” Ser Alliser says. Then he explains, “You know what leadership means, Lord Snow? It means that the person in charge gets second guessed by every clever little twat with a mouth. What if he starts second guessing himself? That’s the end. For him. For the clever little twats. For everyone. This is not the end. Not for us.”

Sam finds Pyp and they try to settle in a safe-ish place. Sam calmly prepares their area, he seems ready to fight. Pyp is terrified and asks Sam how he can be so calm. He says he’s not and then explains that when he had to kill the Whitewalker he became nothing at all. “When you’re nothing at all there’s no more reason to be afraid,” he continues. He’s afraid now because “well, i’m not nothing anymore.” Aw, Samwell Tarly. God, please don’t die.

Ygritte scopes out Castle Black and explains that most of the men are at the top of the Wall, there is barely anyone below defending the gate. Here we go.

Game of Thrones Wooly Mammoth

Mance’s army of Wildlings, wooly mammoths, and giants begin marching towards the Wall. When people ask why we didn’t get more dragons this season, blame the mammoths and the giants.

Ser Alliser orders the archers to nock and hold. Grenn accidently knocks an oil barrel off the Wall and the men of Night’s Watch carelessly draw their arrows. It’s the equivalent of watching Matt Saracen beam his teammate in the back of the head with a football during the Friday Night Lights pilot. This is not going to be good.

As arrows begin to fly, the Wildlings stand far enough away as if to tease the Night’s Watch. Ser Alliser is notified that they’re being attacked by both sides. Alliser leaves Janos Slynt in charge of the Wall so he can go down and fight. This means that Ygritte has arrived and boy, she is kicking ass.

But she’s not the only one, Ser Alliser Thorne shows us why he’s master-at-arms. He rouses the men and is fearless in battle. Ser Alliser has Tormund Giantsbane in his sights. They fight and I mean they really fight. Giantsbane cuts open Alliser’s stomach and Alliser is carried away to be treated, still screaming “HOLD THE F**KING GATE!”

Texts from RPW “Why is it everything I want to happen on this show never happens? I just wanted the dude from Castle Black to kill the red headed guy but instead he got sliced open.”

Chaos unfolds on the grounds of Castle Black. The fighting and brutality is everywhere. The Wildlings break into the dining area and some badass with a cleaver kills them off. Ygritte positions herself up high and takes out the men one by one. I really liked the lack of soundtrack during this scene, all we could just hear was Ygritte’s steady breathing. It made the whole scenario more dramatic.

Meanwhile, back at the Wall the mammoths and the giants start to make their way towards the gate. Janos Slynt is having a nervous breakdown. Thankfully, Grenn tricks him into thinking that Alliser needs him down below, leaving Jon Snow in charge.

Jon Snow takes the reigns. Snow proves himself to be a natural leader as he tells the men on the Wall to nock and hold, draw, and lose their arrows. I swear anytime someone yelled “LOOOOSEEE!” in this episode I got goosebumps.

Down below, the Wildlings start climbing the Wall. “They won’t summit before dawn,” Jon Snow tells them men. “How do you know that?” “Because I’ve made that climb.” “I think they’re in a bigger hurry than you were,” replies Edd. This may be far fetched but could Edd be a distant cousin of Bronn? Like, really think about it.

Janos Slynt decides to hide, what a wuss. He stumbles upon Gilly who knows exactly what he’s doing.

Gilly is judging you Game of Thrones

Pyp and Sam continue to fire on the Wildlings using a crossbow. As Pyp stands to shoot, he’s shot in the neck by Ygritte. It’s a gruesome, bloody way to go. Sam stays by his side to comfort him. Then Sam picks up the crossbow and springs to action. He shoots a Warg that is charging towards him like it’s no big deal. Sam gets Olly to send him up the Wall to get Jon Snow. They need more men fighting down below. On his way up, Sam yells “Find a weapon, Olly. Fight them!”

The giants and the wooly mammoth are now attempting to pull down the large gate at the base of the Wall. Jon Snow sends Grenn with five men to hold the gate while Edd and Jon Snow continue dislodging the oil barrels. They are able to scare away the wooly mammoth. As he runs after the animal, they shoot down one of the giants. Out of frustration and anger, the other giant lifts the gate by himself.

Sam tells Jon Snow the Castle won’t stand much longer without more men down below. Snow knows what he has to do “Edd, you have the Wall. If they try the mammoths again drop fire on them. If the climbers get too high drop the scythe on them.” Ooooh, what’s the scythe?

Edd LOOOOOOSE

Edd, hands down, had the best delivery of “LOOOOOOOSE”

Grenn and co. get to the tunnel just in time to see the giant come under the gate. Gah, I love Grenn. Everyone is starting to panic and he stands firm, “we hold the gate.” Grenn leads his brothers in the Night’s Watch oath as the giant charges towards them.

As they arrive to the ground, Jon hands Sam a key “I need him more than I need you.” Jon Snow bounds out of the lift and starts kicking ass.

Texts from RPW “For the record, so many dirty things I’d do to Kit Harington

THE SHOT, THE CONTINUOUS SHOT. OMGGGGGG! You saw it, right? There is a sweeping shot of the Castle Black grounds that shows the fighting and the chaos happening in every corner. It’s amazing. According to director Neil Marshall, the Game of Thrones cast rehearsed it for about an hour and got it in seven takes.

The shot ends with Sam unlocking Ghost’s room and saying, “we need you boy.” Ghost immediately springs into action and starts taking down Wildlings one by one. It should be noted that my own little direwolf (just kidding, he’s a rat terrier), Dexter, woke up from his seventeenth nap just in time to see Ghost do his thing. He just looked at me like he he suddenly realized that he would never be that cool. It’s okay Dex, no dog will.

Jon Snow starts fighting with Styr, the lead Thenn. It’s one of those fight scenes that has your stomach in knots.  After taking some serious hits, Jon is able to brutally kill him with a hammer. While this is happening, Ygritte sees Jon Snow and it is on.

Ygritte Oh Hell No Bad Bitch

As he stumbles away, there is Ygritte. She has her bow and arrow drawn, she’s ready to kill Jon Snow. But she hesitates, “love is the death of duty” afterall. Jon Snow smiles because of course she can’t kill him, she loves him. Then Olly shoots an arrow through her heart. It all comes full circle. She killed his father. He kills her. Ygritte dies in Snow’s arms saying, “Do you remember the cave? We should have stayed in the cave.” He assures her, “We’ll go back there.” Her last words are, “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” As she dies, it is beautiful. He is cradling her amidst all the madness. The Game of Thrones team uses slow motion to really paint the heartbreaking picture, it’s the second time they’ve ever used it. The first was when Tywin Lannister showed up at the Battle of Blackwater.

Ygritte and Jon Snow

Back on the Wall, the Wildlings are still climbing. Edd finally commands “DROP THE SCYTHE BOYS!”  Then what appears to be a huge anchor comes out of the Wall and sweeps the Wildlings away. Damn, that was cool.

“They’ve had enough for one night,” declares Edd. Victory! But not quite, the Night’s Watch knows they are still outnumbered. It’s just a matter of time before the Wildlings strike again.

Speaking of Wildlings, who’s left standing? Tormund Giantsbane, of course. Jon Snow shoots him with one last arrow for good measure before he’s carried away as a prisoner. “I should have thrown you from the top of the Wall, boy,” yells Giantsbane. “Aye, you should have,” replies Jon Snow.

Sam comes back for Gilly. He also finds Slynt. Shame, shame, shame.

Sam and Jon discuss the victory and the inevitable return of the Wildling army. The Night’s Watch could probably hold them off for a day or two but will never beat them. Jon decides he’s going to go north of the Wall to kill Mance. Without Mance Rayder the Wildling army will disperse.

Sam is worried about Jon. That they are going to torture him, but they both know there’s no other option. As they walk through the tunnel, they find that Grenn and his men died killing the giant. Jon tells Sam to have their bodies burned. Jon gives his sword, Longclaw, to Sam before departing the tunnel. They have a sweet little moment in the tunnel, this really is the best bromance ever.

Samwell Tarly and Jon Snow bromance

Next week is the season four finale and judging by the preview we will be checking in with Bran and Arya. We will also catch up with the Lannisters and Jon Snow will find Mance Rayder. What will happen? And look, dragons!


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New Trailers for ‘Dumb and Dumber To’ and ‘Fury’

Okay, maybe Trailer Wednesday is a thing.

Dumb and Dumber To

Dumb and Dumber To

They’re baaaaaaack! Two decades after the dimwitted duo invited us along their original adventure in 1994’s Dumb and Dumber, the characters are returning to the big screen in 2014’s Dumb and Dumber To. In the sequel, they search for Harry’s long lost daughter in hopes of getting a kidney transplant. Not much has changed by the looks of the trailer. Harry and Lloyd are still as dumb as ever. Dumb and Dumber To hits theaters November 14.

Fury

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It’s April, 1945. The war is almost over. Fury gives us a closer look into the lives of the five-man crew of a Sherman tank in World War II. The men are on a deadly mission behind enemy lines and the movie follows their attempts to strike at Nazi Germany. The all star cast includes Brad Pitt, Michael Peña, Shia LaBeouf, and Logan Lerman. Fury also hits theaters November 14.

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